Night Owl Chatter

Heavy is the burden of those who are single. Sure, it’s great to be your own person who is free of compromise and commitment. If we want to move to a new country, we can. If we want to have a one-night stand with a model, we can. If we want to indulge in some shopping at Bergdorf Goodman’s, we can. There’s no shared income, shared space or shared responsibilities, and we love having total freedom… but sometimes it’s not entirely free.

Here are some setbacks I’ve personally experienced because I am single:

1. The couch does get lonely sometimes when watching my favorite shows. We’ll start off with the most obvious one. Yes, it would be nice to have a nice pair of arms to hold you while lying on the catch – to feel safe and snug at the same time while being cradled. This is why either a pint of ice cream is usually cradled within my arms while catching up on the latest Game of Thrones or I’m out late at a bar to avoid indulging in the habits of eating/watching.
2. Being bombarded with wedding/baby pictures on social media. Such exposure to ‘perfect family’ can cause either nausea or anxieties, having you question your life choices and biological time clock. But then you realize that either long-term commitment would cause you even more anxiety so you’re able to shrug it off and do some online shopping with your hard earned money.
3. You become the coach/cheerleader for all your friends who want relationships. It seems to be the same old story every time: they meet someone that they really like, they go on a couple of dates, you cheer them on hoping that this person could be the one to make them truly happy, your friend starts to have doubts because the person didn’t call them back fast enough or they’ve become suspicious, you try to offer an objective opinion and your best advice only to have it ignored, and you’re caught in the middle of this tug of war of hearts for what seems like ages. Now I understand why Miranda had that huge fight with Carrie on Sex and the City – Big is a jerk, why do you keep doing this to yourself?!
4. Being the target for every desperate single guy out there. Whether it’s at work, a party or a club, if a guy notices that you’re not with another guy (like some sort of claimed prize) then they’ll commence in awkward encounters and/or harassment in hopes of getting laid. Now don’t get me wrong, a single gal needs to get her groove on too but there needs to be fireworks instead of fizzed out duds upon introduction – I mean, there’s only so much a girl can fake in one lifetime. So take note fellows, if we’re not engaging in eye contact for more than five minutes it means move on.
5. The inevitable question at family functions: Are you seeing anyone? No, I’m still single but thanks for inquiring. It’s not like I have anything else interesting going on in my life like a promotion that has allowed me to travel to exotic places or the fact that I’m training for a marathon next year. My life is completely void at this point.
6. The questioning of your sexual orientation. Maybe I am gay… or asexual… or don’t need labels to define who I am. If it happens it happens, and the right person can be anyone at this point but they still won’t dictate my personality or goals.
7. Being chastised for being single. Many act as if something is wrong with you if you’re single for too long. Why aren’t you with anyone at this point? Well, let me answer your question with another question: Is it wrong to have high standards? Is it selfish to want to focus on my own personal development and discovery before I committing to another person’s schedule and lifestyle? Is it crazy to avoid the pain and frustration of heartbreak and disappointment that comes with jumping into a relationship with the first John Doe that’s complimented my looks? We’re individuals too, and have been doing just fine on our own for such amount of time. If the right person comes along we’ll know it, but in the meantime we’re just content enjoying our freedom as we tread on the unbeaten like a lone wolf.